mosacreates

 I'm afraid. I'm so afraid. This fear that I'm feeling is crippling. It's exhausting and it's draining the life out of me. I have never fallen in love with someone who wanted to love me alone. But I have fallen in love with people who wanted me to have bits and pieces of their hearts while they love others more and put them before me. I have loved people who had no desire to learn how to love me and how to speak to me. Not to the flesh, but to my heart and my soul. I've been desired but I have never been loved all the way through. People love their ideas of me. And what they think about me is always far from my reality. And so, they leave. They leave after draining me. After taking and not giving. And I'm left with the pain and battered pieces. I'm left to pick up everything on my own. To piece myself back together and try to heal. I'm afraid that this will be my life forever. I'm afraid that people will never see me for who I am and then love me...

  I deserve a good life, and it's coming my way. I deserve love and it's coming my way. I deserve happiness and it's coming my way. I deserve to have friends who are rooting for me and I am getting more of them. I deserve to be surrounded by people who want to see me win, and I'm meeting more of them. I deserve to be extremely happy and at peace, and I'm getting there. I deserve to be affirmed. I deserve affection. I deserve love that's fierce and fearless. I deserve love that goes all out. I deserve love that's loud and bold. I deserve a love that doesn't shy away from any part of me. I deserve love that is truthful and honest at all times. I deserve love that puts my whole heart at peace. I deserve a love that allows me to be myself without judgment. I deserve a love that makes me want to sing and dance. I deserve a love that's able to erase the hate and hurt I've experienced in the past. I deserve a love that comes with protection. I deserve ...

 Hey guys. I'm here to say thank you so much for over 100 views on my blog. It means everything to me and I'll always be thankful. 

 For a long time, I met guys whose beliefs were so different from my own. This led to thinking that I may be single forever or I'd have to settle with someone who judges my views on spirituality or constantly feels the need to watch their back because my cultural practices make them anxious. As a hopeless romantic, this bothered me. Not a day would go by without me wondering if I will ever fall in love. I wrote about it more than I wrote about anything else and things remained the same. I think I got to a point where I stopped working on other things in my life and focused so much on educating men about African Spirituality and beliefs. I was committed to this. I was more committed to this than I was to my studies and dreams. It took giving up for me to meet someone whom I didn't have to teach a thing. Someone with similar beliefs. Someone who understands.  Read this again; it took giving up for me to meet someone whom I didn't have to teach a thing. I firmly believe that w...